Over the course of the last several months, I’ve been hearing a lot of stories about people suing sperm donors for child support, or children trying to find their biological sperm donor fathers, etc. These people seem to feel like the sperm donors have done them a great injustice, they claim that they “owe” them something.
And my response is: “HUHHH?”
Ok, first of all let me explain that this post is about sperm donors, you know, the ones that went to the sperm bank, uh, did what they had to do, and left. Not the men that had sex with a woman, and then skipped out. There is a huge difference. Sex is between two people, it takes two to tango there. A sperm donor, on the other hand, is just someone who was generous enough to give you the DNA to exsist. No more, no less. I mean, it is not as if the donor picks who (if anyone) uses his sperm. The woman who chose to be artificially inseminated did. That is just it. The woman chose to have a child by this route. It’s not two people choosing to do something that they know has the chance of producing a child. This is a woman going out, paying money to have a child with this donor sperm, on the intention of getting pregnant. I mean, this is not something you do for kicks. This is an expensive process. Emotionally and Financially.
Don’t get me wrong though, I am in no way, shape, form, or fashion opposed to sperm donation or artificial insemination. I think that both of these are wonderful things that allow a woman or a couple that wouldn’t otherwise be able to reproduce have what, in my mind, is one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) joys in life-children.
Maybe I am wrong, after all, I don’t know that much about this. I am just a bystander. I just don’t think that you can expect someone who DONATED something (yes, I am well aware that sperm donors are compensated finanically, but to me that does not change anything) to have to support what came of their donation. In my mind, this is sort of the same as if someone donated you a kidney and you expected them to pay your water bill because hey, the kidney they gave you enabled you to pee in the toilet, and flushing that toilet uses water, which costs money.
I just don’t get it.
What do you think?
Can mothers of sperm donor offspring ask for child support?
Should the biological children of a sperm donor be allowed to seek out their biological father?