Burning The Souffle

"A Woman Happily In Love, She Burns The Souffle"

Cry Baby Cry October 6, 2008

Filed under: the internets is cheaper than therapy — Rachel @ 12:31 pm

Last night I was blue.

D and I fell asleep ( napping) sometime around 6, and then I woke up around 6:30 crying. I’m still not sure WHY I was crying, but I felt like I was about to fly into 1000s of tiny pieces. This doesn’t happen to me much, but I really can’t stand it when it does. I’m not sure what brings it on.  Maybe I was hormonal because of my period. Maybe it was because it was the end of the weekend (school kind of stressful this week), maybe it was because I hadn’t slept enough all weekend. I don’t know. I hate being that way.  It makes me feel so helpless, like I’m not fully in control of my emotions. D made me feel better.  He stroked my hair and told me it would be ok. He drove me around for awhile in the truck because I thought I would explode if I stayed inside.

So I’m still not sure what happened. I’ve had problems with depression since I was 12. Bad episode at 12, better for several years, bad again at 17, then….nothing….I’ve been fine since then.  I think this was probably caused by not sleeping enough. I really didn’t have much “downtime” this weekend.  I had a terrific weekend though, so this is why I’m so puzzled about this.  It wasn’t like I had anything to be “sad” about.  I went to sleep and woke up feeling perfect.

Huh.

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