I found a nifty tool in the stats section of all my blog admin stuff that shows me ALL the things people search for that lead to my blog. So now that I can see what some of you people are looking for, perhaps I can answer some of your questions (obscene terms that lead here will NOT be discussed, unless they are just too funny).
The top search is “ashtray smell”- Yes, I did once write a post about a stupid ashtray at the wal-marts that was said to not stink. However, being that I have not smoked a cigarette since I was 17, I am probably not the world’s authority on ashtray smells. I can only imagine though, that the ashtray smell is not half as bad as the person smoking the cigs themselves.
Books To Read In 2009- Another popular search that leads here. Sorry, I can’t tell you what YOU should read, but I can tell you what I read this year. Check out my sidebar for more info.
toenail ripped (or half toe nail off, or half my toenail is gone, any varied form of that kind of thing)- Yeah, I did rip off half my big toenail at my best friend’s apartment. That wasn’t so fun. My toenails were already painted black, so my big toe matched.
burning the souffle- Yes, that is the name of my blog! I can only hope that you stopped by once, loved it, forgot the url, and then googled it to find it again. (Some people apparently do look for this blog, because burning the souffle blog also shows up.)
dear abby the play- I have no idea. I like reading “Dear Abby” in the paper, and I am pretty good at making up stories, so maybe I can help you write a play.
chemistry is shit- I agree.
what’s a frozen pop? pregnancy?- If you don’t know what pregnancy is, then you shouldn’t read this blog, it contains too much profanity and other impure thoughts that will contaminate your little mind. When I used the term frozen pop, I was talking about a sperm donor who’s sperm was cryogenically frozen to be used for IVF or other fertility treatments.
blitz souffle- I’ve no idea. I don’t even know how to make a souffle. I know how to make excellent grits though.
songs to have bridesmaids walk down the aisle to- I don’t know. I have a few in mind, but I did write a post about music I might like played at my wedding.
shit fire and hells bells- I say both of these things, but not in the same sentence. They sort of mean the same thing, to use them in the same sentence is redundant.
how to talk southern- Ok. 1. Be born in a southern state. 2. Live there for your whole life. 3. Say things like “shit fire and save the matches” and “hells bells”. For more info, see my post of same name.
i don’t have children- Nope, definitely child-free as of right now…and probably for the next 5+ years.
rachel pays- I do pay for a lot of things. How did you know about my terrible shopaholism?
So dear googlers (that sounds KINKY!), I hope I answered some of your questions. Keep googling strange things to find out more.