Many of my friends have recently aquired new significant others, and are still in that “sweep-you-off-your-feet” stage of their relationships. D and I have been together for nearly 3 years, and are well past that stage. Don’t get me wrong- I’m not saying that he still doesn’t sweep me off my feet, I’m just saying that our love is quieter, more secure.
Our love is the kind of love where one person goes and gets the other person a blanket, even if they are tired themselves, because the other person fell asleep on the couch and they don’t want them to get cold. Where somebody doesn’t eat the rest of the cheez-its in the box because they know that the other person loves them and didn’t get to eat very many of them. The kind of love where you might not always get to go wherever you want to go, or eat whereever you want to eat, but you don’t even care, because you’re making the other person happy.
Our idea of a great Saturday night is going out and getting something to eat, maybe getting some ice cream, doing some shopping (even grocery shopping), and coming home and playing a board game in our pajamas. Our Sundays are spent playing a video game, a board game, taking the dogs for a walk and maybe watching a movie or some tv.
So no, we aren’t into bars, or clubs, or anything like that. And I’m glad. We are happiest just having a quiet evening at home.
Don’t get me wrong- we still enjoy hitting the town once in awhile, and D is pretty good (very, very, very good) at romantic dinners- hell, he can even make boxed macaroni and cheese romantic. Last year for Valentine’s Day we went to a super-mucho-expensive restaurant, dressed to the nines and ready to spend way too much on dinner. And it was fabulous. And very, very, romantic. But you know what? We don’t have to do that kind of thing all the time just to prove that we love each other.
In the early days of our relationship, we were very different. I would not have dreamed of letting D see me without make-up, loafing around the house in one of his old t-shirts. And I am quite sure he would never have farted in bed. The early days were about putting your best face on, making the best impression possible. Now we know that we’ll love each other anyway, so we don’t have to try so hard. I’m not saying we don’t still get dressed up for each other sometimes, but our relationship is more real, more solid and less superficial.
It’s the kind of love that, even when everything around us is going to shit, it’s somehow not as bad because we’re facing it together. And I would not have it any other way.