I try not to feel guilty about many things, and honestly, I don’t.
There is no point in it, and I always know that even if I didn’t make the best decision at a certain point in time, that it is ok, because I can learn from it.
However, there are a few things that, while I don’t feel guilty about them, I wish that I had the guts to be more upfront about them, and then I end up feeling guilty because I wasn’t upfront with them in the first place.
For example: I had a friend that I met a few years ago, and we were good friends for awhile. I mean, this wasn’t like “talk everyday, hang out all the time” friend, but a friend that was good for hanging out with sometimes. I don’t know, I guess at the peak of our friendship we might have hung out once or twice a week, but I really could not say.
Anyway, this certain friend started giving me grief a few months ago, and I chose to end the friendship. Only I did not say “I can’t be friends with you anymore, I’m sorry.” because I thought it sounded childish.
So, I just quit talking, calling, texting, etc. Which, I realize now, was childish.
I don’t know, I hate causing “drama” so that is why I did not come out and say anything. I guess there is no nice way to break off a friendship, and I am not sure why this is considered so societally unacceptable.
Think about it, really, it is. Saying “We are not friends anymore” is considered childish, a middle school girl’s threat. But honestly, who among us hasn’t had a friendship that just wasn’t working out anymore?
I am sure that the majority of us do the same thing that I did- just stop communicating.
Somehow, we think that is more polite. But think about it- is it really?
I don’t think so. Sure, it might cause less hurt feelings initially, but really, it’s not a clean break. And the party at fault (ok, maybe not at fault, but the person that is being essentially dropped) still doesn’t know why you feel that way.
I’m not sure what the best solution for any of this would be, because really, you are between a rock and a hard place either way.
What do you think? Just stop talking or let them know exactly why you are choosing to end that friendship?