Burning The Souffle

"A Woman Happily In Love, She Burns The Souffle"

Don’t Worry, I Know Where He Sleeps June 28, 2009

Filed under: the internets is cheaper than therapy — Rachel @ 10:03 pm

Today was hot. And humid. Not that that is out of the ordinary in Tennessee, but it was hot.

D and I decided to cool off by taking a dip in the pool.

Did I ever tell you that D loves to play all kinds of tricks?

I was happily swimming in the pool, when D all of a sudden STOPS and says “Uh-Oh, I think we have a problem.” This should have alerted me to the fact that he was about to pull some stunt, but you know, being the ever trusting individual that I am, I swam over to see what was the matter. “What’s wrong?” I asked, using my most concerned voice. “Something weird on the bottom of the pool, don’t worry, I’ll get it and see what it is.” he replied, using an equally concerned voice, another clue which should have alerted me to the fact that something fishy was going on, because I should know by now that D does not give a shit about what is on the bottom of the pool. As long as the water’s cool, he’s happy.  I on the other hand, am always unconvinced that the cloudiness of the water is really caused by the messed up sand filter, and instead caused by something more sinister. (I’ve never quite figured out what, but I know it is not good.)

So D goes down to the bottom of the pool, and brings something up in his hand. Something that DOES NOT LOOK GOOD.  Something WITH A TAIL. “It’s a dead mouse!” D yells, rather gleefully.

By this time, I am heading for the pool ladder, with D close behind me.  He grabs me and turns me around, waving it in my face.

I scream bloody murder.

D starts laughing so hard he turns purple.

It was a fucking SEED POD from one of the stupid bushes by the pool.

Oh D, you are so getting it. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but I will get you back.

Maybe you should sleep with one eye open!!!!!!

I have to admit though, it was a pretty good trick. The seed pods are long and round with a “tail” that attatches them to the bush, and they do look a lot like a mouse.

Ok D, good trick, but maybe you should still consider sleeping with one eye open.

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