Burning The Souffle

"A Woman Happily In Love, She Burns The Souffle"

Fight Night July 3, 2009

Filed under: the world around me,unsolicited advice — Rachel @ 11:55 am

So, D and I had a little tiff yesterday. Over something stupid. (Aren’t all arguments usually about something stupid?) Don’t worry, everything’s fine now. Actually, looking back at it, it is more funny now than anything else.
It all started when I got defensive about something and sort of went overboard. D took offense at that, and thus an argument was born.
Let me tell you this, I could argue with a fence post. Don’t get me wrong, I think I am very easy to get along with, but I could argue about something til I was blue in the face. (I think I should have been a politician, haha.)
D is the opposite. He just ignores. Then he cools down and forgets about it.
We argued. D went outside. I decided that I must go outside too, because IT WAS SO NOT OVER! (Typical female much?)
So, we argued outside. If the neighbors had popped outside, they would have gotten a free show, this stuff is better than television. Plus, they could have interjected their opinions about who was right, adding a whole other element to the argument. (It would also make up for the time that D and I got to watch the guy’s old girlfriend throw his stuff into the pool.)
We argued. Words were exchanged.
Then, we realized how stupid it was.
And started to laugh.
Argument over.
We apologized, and laughed some more.
Have you ever noticed that you aren’t exactly at your most clever when you are angry? You tend to say things that, upon reflection, are pretty funny.
D and I really don’t argue that much. But when we do, we try to do these things:
1. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight, you can sleep later. No, no, I am kidding! I know it sounds cliched, but seriously, agree to disagree before you go to sleep. You won’t sleep well anyway if you don’t, and when you wake up in the morning it will feel so much better to not have to re-hash all the details of what happened.
2. Don’t call each other names. Seriously, I know that sounds like something to tell a five year old, but just don’t. Sure, it may make you feel better at the time, but it doesn’t really add a whole lot of credit to your side of the argument if every other word is “asshole”.
3. Don’t make empty threats. Don’t say things like “I am leaving” or “Don’t ever talk to me again.” You will regret it instantly AND you have just made yourself look like a jerk.
4.Don’t bring other people into it. I mean, if we were arguing about whether “mary had a little lamb” and “jingle bells” were the same tune, it wouldn’t be a REAL argument and ok to ask someone else’s opinion. (Yes, that really happened once, and D, I don’t care what you say, they ARE NOT THE SAME TUNE. : )  ) When you bring other people into it, it not only makes them very uncomfortable, they might not take the side you thought they would, which will probably result in ANOTHER argument, with that person.

5. If you have to say “I’m sorry” do it sincerely and mean it.  Don’t snarl a “Sorry!” at the other person, that just pisses them off more.

So, that’s Dr. Rachel’s unsolicited advice for the day.

And to you D, I love you you big lug!

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